The Mistletoe Man
by Heartstart
Summary: Seventeen year old Penny Rowan has a problem. It's Christmas Eve, and her Uncle Max appears to have fallen under the influence of their creepy new lodger, Barry. All seems lost, until new neighbour - a spiky-haired man in a pin-striped suit - turns up on her doorstep, offering his assistance. Story involves parasitic aliens, and copious amounts of trifle.
1. Chapter 1

"Oi, Maxie! Fetch me a glass of water!"

Penny Rowan lowered the string of fairy lights she was holding and glared at the green-eyed man sprawled in her Uncle Max's favourite armchair. "You've got legs. Fetch it yourself."

Uncle Max scurried into the loungeroom. Penny was struck by the shadows under his eyes. His hair, which only a month ago had been iron grey, was now snowy white. And he'd lost more weight. Her uncle handed the green-eyed man a tumbler of iced water. "Now, Penny," he said. "We mustn't be rude. Barry is our guest."

Barry grinned at Penny, revealing grey, crooked teeth. "Cheers, Maxie. Oh, you couldn't spare twenty quid?"

Smiling vacantly, Uncle Max pulled a note from his wallet. "No problems, mate."

"Are you going to pay that back?" demanded Penny.

"Oh, Penny – forgot to mention. Borrowed your iPod. That's cool, right?" asked Barry.

"No, it's not!" said Penny. "Uncle Max, how long are you going to let him stay here, sponging off you, taking our things? It's time he was off."

"We can't turn Barry out into the street, Pen," said Uncle Max. "Not on Christmas Eve. It wouldn't be right."

"Can't we at least light the fire?" Penny asked with a shiver. "Why does it have to be so cold?"

"Barry likes it that way," said Uncle Max. "Anyway, young lady, you have decorations to put up. Chop, chop! The neighbours will be here any minute, and I've got the eggnog to finish." He hurried back into the kitchen.

"I may have drunk all your brandy," Barry called after him.

Penny bit her lip. She should be happy. It was Christmas Eve. Holidays. Nearly time for Uncle Max's annual party. The house would shortly be full of their friends from Charlton Road. But Penny couldn't relax. There was something decidedly creepy about Barry. Why on earth had Uncle Max invited him to stay? And why was Uncle Max letting Barry walk all over him? The worst part was, there was no one she could talk to about it. Not even Liam, her best friend who lived next door. Anyway, these days Liam was absorbed with that stupid Amber Evans.

The doorbell rang.

Glad to escape the loungeroom, Penny opened the front door… to find a sharp-dressed stranger on the doorstep. She glimpsed a pin-striped suit beneath the long brown overcoat, and a tuft of spiked hair crowned his head. The stranger beamed.

"Ah, hullo! Happy Christmas! Delighted to receive your invitation." He thrust a piece of paper in her face. It seemed to be in Uncle Max's handwriting, inviting the bearer to the party.

Penny blinked, slightly confused. "I haven't seen you around before. Are you the bloke that's moved in with Maisie Edwards at number nine?"

"Unluckily for Ms Edwards, I am not. But I have moved into your street. For now, anyway. Small blue box, on the corner. Charming vista of the telephone pole. I'm the Doctor. And you are?"

"Penny. Um, won't you come in?"

"Ta!" The Doctor entered, stamping the snow from his sneakers. As Penny closed the door, he pulled a silver cylindrical tube from his coat pocket and pointed it at her. The tip flared with blue light, and a faint whirr emanated from the device. Penny had the odd feeling she was being scanned. "Hmm. Seventeen years old, short-sighted, fond of chocolate bullets, and very, very, human. Must be someone else inside this house."

Before Penny could ask what he meant, Uncle Max appeared by her side, holding a tray of eggnog. "Who's this, then?"

"The Doctor," explained Penny. "He's just moved into Charlton Road. You sent him an invitation."

The Doctor once again proffered the paper.

"So I did," said Uncle Max, squinting at it. "Welcome, Doctor. I'm Maximillian Rowan. Have a drink? Alcohol-free, I'm afraid, but plenty of nutmeg for the flavour."

"Why not?" replied the Doctor, taking a glass. "Tis the season, after all." With his free hand, he scanned Uncle Max with the strange, silver device. Penny heard him murmur "Nope. Human as well."

"Come through to the lounge," said Uncle Max. "Have one of my famous rum balls. You're the first to arrive, but the other neighbours will be turning up any tick now. Des O'Neill from number twenty will be bringing his turkey sausages no doubt, and Maisie will have made her Christmas trifle as usual. Great big bowl, it is. Five layers of jelly."

They stopped short at the sight of Barry kneeling under the Christmas tree, shaking a present. "Is this one for me?" Barry asked.

The vacant expression crossed Uncle Max's face once again. "That's Penny's. It's the new hair straightener she asked for. But you can have it, mate."

The Doctor's eyes darted from Barry to Uncle Max. "Interesting." He pointed the silver tube at Barry.

"What's that?" said Barry eagerly. "Can I have it?"

"No," said the Doctor. He flicked the device upright and gazed intently at it, rubbing his chin. "Oh! Very interesting indeed."

"What's going on?" asked Penny. Things were getting weirder by the minute.

"Penny. Max." There was a steely edge to the Doctor's voice which Penny had not heard until now. "I don't know how this man got inside your house. But he needs to leave. Right now."

"Thank you!" said Penny. "It's what I've been saying for ages."

"Hang on," protested Uncle Max. "This is Barry, our lodger. Who are you Doctor, to come into my house and tell me who I can and can't host under my own roof? Give me one good reason why-"

"He's an alien."

"A what?" asked Uncle Max.

"An alien from the planet Visco. Located in the Lorantha galaxy. Been tracking him for weeks before he turned up in this neighbourhood. He's not safe around humans. Which is why he needs to go." The Doctor turned to Barry. "I have a spaceship. You can come with me. I can take you home or find you a suitable planet."

Spaceship? Suitable planet? The Doctor must be mad, thought Penny. Still, anyone who managed to get Barry to leave was ok with her.

Barry crossed his arms and stared at the Doctor insolently. "But _this_ is my home now. I like it here. Got everything I need." He nodded at Uncle Max.

"Let this man go," said the Doctor.

Barry smirked. "Can't. You could say that I've become… attached to him."

"Yeah," said Uncle Max vaguely. "Attached."

"You know what will happen to him if you stay," warned the Doctor.

"Don't care," replied Barry, with a sneer.

Penny was no longer listening. She had spotted something flashing on Barry's wrist.

"That's your nice watch, Uncle Max! Auntie Gina gave you that before she died."

Uncle Max shrugged. "Barry wanted it, so I let him have it."

Suddenly furious, Penny grabbed Barry's arm, tugging at the watch's strap. "You give that back!"

"Penny, careful," warned the Doctor.

But Penny ignored him. "Enough is enough. Take off the watch and get out of our house!"

With a snarl, Barry sprang to his feet, towering over Penny, his eyes glowing a poisonous green. With a gasp, Penny backed away. Barry – eyes normal again – settled back into the armchair.

"Rum ball, anyone?" asked Uncle Max, as if nothing extraordinary had occurred.

"Cheers," said Barry, snatching a handful.

Tears filled Penny's eyes. It was hopeless. Barry wasn't going anywhere. And Uncle Max was looking paler by the minute. Blinking hard, she strode from the room.


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor found her in the backyard, next to the vegetable patch. The two of them stood silently, side by side, their breath foggy in the night air. Penny wiped her eyes and put her glasses back on. The Doctor's hearts went out to her. So young. But so brave. Protective of her uncle. Horrible situation.

"So, he's really an alien?"

Practical too, thought the Doctor. Openminded enough to accept what's in front of her. "Yep."

"His eyes-"

"Yeah, I know. Viscons' eyes light up whenever they feel threatened. Nasty little trick, that."

Penny sighed. "Why is he here?"

"Slipped through a rift in space? Probably came here as a spore. Managed to propagate into his current form. And voila."

"No, I mean, why _here_? This house. It's almost like he chose Uncle Max."

The Doctor shoved his hands deep inside his pockets. "Viscons are a parasitic species. They're like the walking version of mistletoe. Find a host, latch onto him. Or her. Extract what they need. Food. Water. Shelter. But Viscons take it one step further. They also extort whatever they _want_. Whatever takes their fancy."

"Like Uncle Max's watch."

"Exactly. Host is obliging. Always says yes. It's due to the attachment the Viscon forms with them. Like a kind of hypnosis. People with the kindest hearts are always the most susceptible."

"Uncle Max has the kindest heart of anyone I know," said Penny quietly. "He took me in, seven years ago, after my dad died. My mum's not in the picture – shot through when I was a toddler. Last I heard, she was living in New Zealand. Didn't have anyone else. Uncle Max – he's my great-uncle, really – was about to retire. He was all set to go caravanning around France. Had his ferry ticket booked and everything. But he gave it all up to look after me. And before that, he was married to Auntie Gina. Cared for her for three years before she died of cancer. And now, he's got an – an, alien leeching off him! Doctor, what if Barry asks Uncle Max for his car? Or our house?"

The Doctor stared at the cabbages and leeks growing in the Rowans' garden. Clinging to life, despite the frost. "It's not just about objects, or things," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Take a tree, infest it with mistletoe. Mistletoe sucks the nutrients out like a milkshake. Poor tree can't take the strain. Becomes a husk, and eventually dies."

He watched the awareness and alarm dawn in her eyes. "You mean… Barry could _kill_ Uncle Max?"

The Doctor nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Then what are we waiting for?" cried Penny. "We need to kick Barry out! Break the connection."

"It's not that simple. You saw what happened inside. If Barry feels like he's under attack, your life could be in danger too. And besides – there's a risk that if the attachment is severed too abruptly, the host will suffer. It could even be fatal."

"So, there's nothing we can do," said Penny despondently.

"Hey, I didn't say that," said the Doctor. "There must be a way. You and me. We can save your uncle, Penny. I promise." He scratched his head, pacing up and down. "Think! Think! What could stop Barry without hurting Max?"

"Fire!" said Penny.

The Doctor wheeled around. "Fire?"

"You said Barry was like mistletoe. Mistletoe is sensitive to fire. Controlled burns can destroy mistletoe without harming other plants. Barry doesn't like the heat. He won't let us light the fire. Maybe that's why – he knows it'll weaken him?"

"Clever girl!" exclaimed the Doctor. "How did you know that?"

Penny shrugged. "I help Uncle Max with his garden. Plants are interesting. I've read a lot about them. Next year I'm hoping to go to university. Study botany."

It was worth a shot, thought the Doctor. Warming up the house might destroy the uncanny attachment between Barry and Max; make it easier for Barry to be contained. In the distance came the sound of footsteps, happy voices, and the doorbell.

"Looks like the party's about to start," he said. "The heat is on! Well, not yet. But it will be."

Moments later, they were inside the woodshed, Penny piling logs into the Doctor's arms.

"Is this what you do, Doctor?" asked Penny.

"What, start fires?" said the Doctor, trying to keep his knees from buckling under the weight. "No! Well… occasionally. That one time in Rome. Bit of a 'whoops' moment, that."

"No, I mean – you said you had a spaceship. Do you fly around the universe fighting aliens?"

"Fighting aliens!" said the Doctor. "Makes me sound the Gallifreyan version of Joe Louis. Nice chap, Joe. Bought some pomade off him once. But – nah. Not a fighter. Just a Doctor. I do travel a lot though. Visit planets. Nebulas. The occasional Alternate Earth."

"By yourself?" asked Penny, stacking some kindling on top.

"Not always."

_But more often than I like_, the Doctor thought. He had to admit, part of him was enjoying this. Back on Earth. Being around humans again. He'd been on his own for a while now, after that little business with the stolen planets. A stroke of luck really, to meet someone like Penny – smart, and full of ginger. Perhaps, when this was over, he could take her to Gyraneum? Funny little planet. Loads of purple plants that danced whenever anyone sang to them! One quick trip. Penny would love it. He could have her back home quicker than it took to say 'jingle all the way'…

The loungeroom was packed with the residents of Charlton Road. Slade's 'Merry Christmas, Everybody' belted out of Uncle Max's old stereo speakers. Penny spotted her uncle ushering Maisie Edwards and her new boyfriend (who was plump and ginger, nothing like the Doctor) inside. Maisie bore her enormous bowl of trifle. Enough there to last until Easter, Penny thought. There were the Campbells, the Chowdhurys, the elderly Thompson sisters, Mr O'Neill, and – Penny's heart leapt – Liam, across the room with his parents and little brothers. No sign of Amber Evans. Good.

And no sign of Barry either. The armchair was empty.

"You light the fire. And turn on the radiator. Get the place warm," the Doctor told her, dumping the wood onto the hearth. "I'll go and find Barry." He headed towards the stairs.

Penny soon had a cheerful fire crackling and blazing. She turned the radiator up full, and the room quickly flooded with warmth. She circled the room, checking that the windows were shut tight against the evening chill, murmuring greetings to the guests as she passed, and listening politely as the Campbells chatted about their recent holiday to Majorca. But Penny couldn't help glancing at the ceiling. No sign of Barry. Or the Doctor. What were they doing upstairs?

And who was the Doctor anyway? Such a man of mystery! It sounded like an amazing life, traveling to other planets. She wondered where he kept his spaceship. Did he ever take passengers?

"Merry Christmas, Penny!"

She turned to see Liam grinning at her. He wore a sweater with blue reindeers, the colour matching his eyes perfectly. Her best friend gave her a rather clumsy, one-armed hug, trying to not spill the plate of roast potatoes and turkey sausages he held in his other hand.

"Oh, hi! Merry Christmas," said Penny, smiling back. "Great jumper."

"Thanks. You look nice too. Although, um… I think you have some soot on your cheek." He touched it gently. Penny wiped at the spot, feeling herself blush.

"Where's Amber tonight?"

Liam paused. "She dumped me. Just yesterday."

"Oh. Sorry." But secretly, Penny wasn't sorry. In fact, she felt quite pleased. But why? What was going on? This was Liam. The boy next door. Her best friend of seven years. Oddly enough, Liam didn't look particularly heartbroken either.

"Why did she dump you?"

Liam shuffled his feet. "Amber said something about you," he admitted. "She called you a four-eyed freak."

"Well, that certainly sounds like something Amber would say."

"So I told her," Liam continued, "that you were my best friend, and I wouldn't put up with anyone speaking about you that way."

"Oh?" That was somewhat unexpected.

"Then I told her that your glasses make you look clever and unique."

"Oh?" Even more unexpected.

"Then I told her that I think you're perfect exactly as you are."

"Oh." Very unexpected.

"And that's when Amber dumped me."

For a moment, they were both silent. The room suddenly seemed very crowded and hot. "Amber's an idiot," said Penny eventually.

Liam cleared his throat. "I was the idiot. Don't know what I ever saw in Amber." He stepped towards her. "Listen, Penny. I was wondering if you and me-"

But he was interrupted by the sound of clattering footsteps on the stairs, and the Doctor's voice, shouting Penny's name.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor found Barry upstairs in the guest bedroom, sorting through a pile of purses and wallets.

"Been rifling though people's coats, I see," commented the Doctor.

Barry looked up. "It's you. Thought you'd have pushed off by now."

The Doctor surveyed the room. A magpie's nest. Random objects littered the floor – odd socks, sunglasses, brooches, bracelets, bulldog clips, a toaster, iPod, empty brandy bottle, paperweights, ancient cricket trophies. Wads of cash adorned the bedside table. On the bureau sat a crate, containing four orange basketballs.

"Not until I've made sure Penny and her uncle are safe," he said.

"Oooh," Barry raised his eyebrows in mock alarm. "The brave Doctor, protecting the poor little humans from Big Bad Barry. What are you going to do – bore me to death?" He gave a theatrical yawn.

The Doctor felt his patience wearing thin. "Blimey, you've got tickets on yourself. Oh, pot, kettle, black. But I don't care. Time's short. I just want you to know who you're dealing with."

He strode across the room and knocked his forehead against Barry's. Quick mind meld. Just a taste. Enough to wipe that insolent smirk off Barry's face. The images flashed and flickered. A montage of the Doctor's previous faces. Gallifrey. Planets. Aliens. Spaceships. Corridors. Running. Explosions. Destruction. He felt it all flow into Barry's brain. Get a load of that, Mistletoe Man, he thought.

Barry pulled away, eyes wide. "A Time Lord?"

The Doctor nodded grimly. "Last of my kind. Don't underestimate what I'm capable of. You're a parasite, and I _will_ stop you. You had your chance to leave peacefully but-" He broke off. To his surprise, Barry was laughing, a harsh, grating chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"You have the temerity to call me a parasite? I've seen inside your head, Doctor."

The Doctor frowned. "So?"

"I know what becomes of those poor humans you adopt. Your 'companions'. You need them, don't you? You seek them out, you feast on their naivety and their admiration, just to satisfy your own ego and loneliness."

"No." The Doctor swallowed hard. How many of his recent memories had Barry seen? "That's not true." But his voice sounded hollow to his own ears. Unbidden, images came to mind… the friends whom he'd lost or left behind. But had he always treated them like friends?

"You steal them away from their normal lives. From their families, jobs, homes. You make them _love_ you. Worship you. And when you've finished with them, what happens? Where do you leave your precious companions? Discarded like old tissues. Stranded. Heartbroken. Dead. So don't you dare call me the parasite, Doctor."

"Enough!" said the Doctor, through clenched teeth.

From downstairs came the sounds of the party; music, laughter, and Penny's voice floating over the top: "Merry Christmas! Great jumper."

"Already, she's falling under your spell," Barry continued, remorselessly. "Tell me Doctor, will _she_ wind up the same as the others?"

Sweat trickled down the Doctor's neck as he stared at Barry, wide-eyed. The upper level of the house was now warm, thanks to Penny. Even the basketballs on the bureau were glowing with the heat. Wait – what?

He shouldered Barry aside to get a closer look. With a sharp intake of breath, he realised they weren't basketballs, but spores.

"You didn't come here alone."

Barry nodded. "Correct. Five of us fell to Earth. I was fortunate enough to roll into an alleyway, behind a cafe. Excellent exhaust system; the vents blew hot air right onto me, turning me into the handsome fellow you see before you. I managed to find my siblings, gather them up. Can you feel the heat rise now? It's only a matter of time before they too, come of age." He grinned; his teeth the colour of moss. "You see, Doctor? Even if I weaken, my brothers and sisters will live. Just in time to join the party. Lots of fascinating people downstairs whom they can… connect with."

The Doctor studied the spheres. "Heat doesn't just destroy mistletoe. It also propagates the spores. Oh no, no, no!"

One fully-fledged Vicson was enough. What would another four do? Would the heat be enough to contain them? Perhaps. But the Doctor wasn't going to wait around to find out. He sped from the room, taking the stairs two at a time, bursting into the loungeroom. He found Penny was talking with some tall kid in an ugly sweater.

"Penny! We have to put the fire out."

"Doctor, I don't understand."

"It's too hot. He has other spores upstairs. They're gonna hatch!" The Doctor grabbed two glasses of eggnog from the nearest couple, ignoring their exclamations, and flung the contents on the flames. The fire hissed, but it wasn't enough.

"Penny, turn off the radiator." He pointed at tall kid. "You, open the windows."

"But it's cold outside!"

"Oh yes!" The Doctor pointed the sonic screwdriver at the fire, but the flames stubbornly persisted. Of course. The sonic screwdriver didn't work on wood. But it might just work on amorphous carbon. He aimed the sonic screwdriver up the chimney and pressed the button. Soot tumbled down in a heap, smothering the fire completely.

He turned around, coat streaked with soot and ash. A draught whipped through the room. Someone had turned the music off. Everyone was silent, goggling at him. The Doctor forced a perky grin. "Just clearing the way for Father Christmas. Happy Christmas ladies and gentlemen! As you were."


	4. Chapter 4

Penny sat on the Formica benchtop in the kitchen, pondering their next move.

Uncle Max had not been impressed with the Doctor's behaviour. Larking about with the fire, as he put it. He'd wanted the Doctor to leave the party, until Penny had convinced Uncle Max that the Doctor had only been attempting to make the room comfortable for Barry. Now the Doctor stood in front of the Rowans' fridge, gazing steadily at the photographs magnetised to the door. Uncle Max holding an enormous homegrown cucumber. Penny on the school stage, receiving a prize for Biology. Penny and Liam with their bikes.

Penny wasn't sure what the Doctor was thinking. Ever since putting out the fire, he'd been strangely silent, refusing to tell Penny anything about his confrontation upstairs with Barry, other than to explain about the spores.

"Why hasn't Barry propagated the other spores yet?" she asked.

The Doctor shrugged without turning around. "Waiting for the right moment, perhaps? Whatever else he is, your Barry is an over-protective big brother."

Penny watched through the open doorway, as Barry sauntered downstairs. He wore Uncle Max's best suit. Of course.

"Barry," she heard her uncle say, "Let me introduce you to Dr and Dr Chowdhury from number five. Both dentists they are."

"Nice to meet you," came Barry's reply. "So, you're the owners of that Audi! Lovely car, it is. We must get better acquainted."

The Doctor spun around and clapped his hands. "Look at us two, moping about in the kitchen. Come on, Penny, we need a Plan B. I'm thinking chemicals!"

The Doctor was a genius. If chemicals could eradicate plants, perhaps they could stop Barry? "I think Uncle Max has some Roundup in the shed," said Penny.

"Nah, that won't be enough," replied the Doctor, speaking rapidly. He peeled off his filthy coat, draping it over one of the stools near the breakfast bar. "I'm thinking glycine, phosphonate. Ionise the acid moieties, protonate the amine group, 'til you've got a bunch of zwitterions."

Penny shook her head. "English, please, Doctor!"

The Doctor ran his hand through his hair, make it stick up even more. "Sorry. We need to mix a big huge giant pot of _stuff_. Just need some household staples. Cleaning agents, dishwash liquid, bug spray, salt."

As he spoke, Penny rushed around the kitchen, yanking open cupboard doors, and pulling out the ingredients. "Chicken or regular?"

"What?"

"The salt. Chicken or regular?"

"Regular. No wait – chicken salt has citric acid. Chicken salt!"

Penny heaved the Rowan's largest soup tureen onto the bench, and she and the Doctor tipped the items into it.

"Wooden spoon, please chef," said the Doctor.

Penny handed it over. A thought occurred to her as she watched the Doctor stir the mixture. "Will this… kill Barry?"

The Doctor's face remained impassive. "Yeah. In all likelihood. You okay with that?"

She closed her eyes, thought of Uncle Max. "We don't really have any choice, do we?"

"I gave him a chance to leave," said the Doctor quietly.

"I know," said Penny. She sensed the Doctor was not the type of man who'd take a life lightly. She was about to ask him more about himself, but for the second time that night, the music came to a screeching halt. Penny heard gasps and darted inside the loungeroom.

Uncle Max was slumped on the sofa, Barry looming over him. An odd glowing cord – lurid and green – stretched between the two. Her uncle's breaths came tortured, laboured, and Penny knew the alien was sucking out the last of Uncle Max's lifeforce. Mr O'Neill stepped forward, but Barry effortlessly swatted him away, sending him sprawling. The rest of the guests stood shocked and transfixed.

Penny returned to the kitchen. "Doctor, hurry!"

"It's not ready. We're missing something. Glycine!"

"What's got glycine in it?" Penny looked madly around the kitchen.

"Gelatin. Jelly." They stared at each other, before exclaiming simultaneously: "The trifle!"

Penny wrenched open the fridge door. Thank goodness the guests hadn't started on dessert yet. She took Maisie Edwards' trifle out, and scooped out the jelly with her bare hands, digging under the custard and cream and tinned peaches. She dumped handfuls of it into the tureen as the Doctor mixed, his hand a blur. The concoction fizzed.

"I think it's ready," announced the Doctor.

Penny grabbed the tureen and raced into the loungeroom, the Doctor on her heels. Without hesitation, she hurled the contents at Barry.

For an instant, nothing happened. Then the green cord snapped, leaving her uncle wheezing and coughing. Barry screamed with pain and rage. His body, where the mixture had splashed, seemed to bubble and transform; limbs shrivelling, ears shrinking, skin flaking off in green spiky points.

Penny whooped. It was working! But something was happening. Barry's body was stretching, elongating, multiple arms sprouting to replace the ones he'd lost, muscles bursting through his jacket. He roared through grey fangs.

"Doctor, what's happening?"

"He's regenerating!" shouted the Doctor, before adding in a quieter tone: "Blimey, makes mine look tame."

Penny didn't think about that last bit. All she knew that Barry had to be stopped. She glanced into the tureen. Still half the mixture left.

"Shall I throw the rest?"

"Wait – we'll need something to cover him."

Of course, Penny realised. Mistletoe, once cut, needed to be wrapped up tightly to stop it growing back. What could they use? Their sofa didn't have a throw rug, and no one was wearing a coat.

"Wrapping paper!" she cried.

The Doctor skirted around Barry to the Christmas tree. "Nice one!" He grabbed the largest gift and tore off the paper. He nodded at Liam and his brothers. "Come on, you lot, help me. But try not to rip the paper!"

"Aren't you supposed to wait 'til Christmas morning?" asked Maisie Edwards, as the Doctor and the boys set to the task with enthusiasm.

"Maisie, there is a flipping monster here! Let the man do his work," said Mr O'Neill.

Barry bellowed again. The green light flared in his chest, aiming once more at Uncle Max. One of the Thompson sisters shrieked.

The Doctor rummaged through the paper. "Urg, not quite big enough. Why didn't you give each other flat screens or something?"

"There's a spare roll of paper here, behind the tree!" said Liam.

"Brilliant!" cried the Doctor. He grabbed the roll, unravelled the paper (red, with a pattern of dancing green Santas) and advanced on Barry.

"Now, Penny!"

Penny flung the remainder of the contents over Barry. Once again, the alien roared, and began to shrink and moult. But this time the Doctor stepped forward, paper held aloft. He quickly passed the paper around and around Barry's body, pinning the Viscon's arms. Unable to regenerate, Barry dwindled away, body folding in on itself, screams growing fainter, until the Doctor was holding only air.

He stepped back. The remnants of their concoction oozed slowly into the carpet. On top, lay a sprig of what looked like mistletoe.

"Penny?"

Uncle Max rose from the sofa. His hair was restored to its usual grey, and his cheeks glowed ruddy once again. With a happy whoop, Penny flung her arms around him.

"Uncle Max! You're okay!"

"I am, sweetheart!" He glanced down. "Which is more than I can say for the rug."

Penny shuffled her feet. "We used Maisie's trifle."

Uncle Max chuckled. "Obviously didn't agree with Barry. Oh well, mince pies for dessert then!" He released her, and moved through the crowd, receiving backslaps and handshakes from his neighbours.

Liam picked up the sprig of 'mistletoe'. "Wow. This is what's left of him?"

"Yeah," said Penny. She was vaguely aware of the Doctor slipping away from her side.

Liam stepped forward, holding the plant up high, over their heads. "You know what they say about mistletoe, right?"

"That it's a pest which should be strictly controlled with backburning or chemicals?"

"Not quite what I was thinking," said Liam.

He leaned in and kissed her.

The Doctor watched Penny and Liam snogging. With a smile, he hefted the crate of spores, and pushed open the front door open. Time to go. Places to see, things to do. He stepped out into frosty night, the stars blazing brilliantly overhead.

He'd nearly reached the TARDIS when he heard flying footsteps behind him.

"Doctor!" said Penny, breathless. "Where are you going? Uncle Max is pouring the port. There's Elvis on the stereo. I think Maisie Edwards might be keen for a dance!"

He shook his head. "Nah. Best I was off."

Penny's face fell. "You're leaving? But it's Christmas."

Christmas. Memories flashed through the Doctor's mind. The Sycorax spaceship, hovering high above the Earth. The interstellar Titanic. The Cybermen stomping through a grimy London in 1851.

"Not sure whether me and Christmas mix well these days. Anyway – gotta find a new home for these chaps." He nodded at the globes in the crate. "There's a planet in the Karashaw galaxy with the right conditions, and no sentient life, apart from some very mean slugs. They won't be able to mooch off anyone there."

"How will you get there?"

He patted the side of the TARDIS.

Penny looked confused. "Is that your spaceship? But it's just a tiny box!"

"Oi," replied the Doctor, slightly amused and offended at the same time. "It's much bigger on the inside. And this old girl takes me everywhere – time and space!"

He saw the wonder cross her face. "Take me with you."

The Doctor paused, overcome with temptation. To have Penny in the TARDIS would be amazing. A smart young human, up for adventure. A new pal. Company.

Then he remembered Barry's words.

_Tell me Doctor, will _she_ wind up the same as the others?_

"Doctor?"

"No. I'm sorry, Penny."

She swallowed. "Why not – is it me? You think I'm just a silly kid, right?"

"Some plants you shouldn't uproot," the Doctor explained to her quietly. "Because while they'll survive in their new environment, they'll never thrive like they did before. Or worst case – they won't survive at all. And I won't be responsible for that."

"I don't understand."

He took a deep breath. "I won't be like Barry."

"You're nothing like Barry!"

"Tell you what," said the Doctor, changing the subject, "You're gonna be a brilliant scientist one day! I bet you'll ace those exams. Your Uncle Max will be dead proud. And that young Liam, watch out for him. Seems a nice boy, but make sure he treats you right; lets you choose the movie on date nights."

She smiled sadly. "So that's it, then?"

He grinned at her. "Merry Christmas, Penny Rowan."

"Merry Christmas, Doctor."

He watched her jog back to the house, back to the warmth and laughter. He stepped inside the TARDIS and dematerialised into the night.


End file.
